Special bonding time between grandma and grandsonI’m into lists. Shopping lists. To do lists. Address lists. Birthday lists. All kinds of lists. Today I’m thinking about two other lists: Things I Wish I Hadn’t Done and Things I’m Glad I Did. For the sake of brevity, only four items are in each category, although I’m well aware that there are many more I could mention, especially in the first list.
Things I Wish I Hadn’t Done . . .
1) I was standing in the school lunch line one day when I was in the seventh grade. A classmate stuck her index finger into my open mouth as I was saying something. As irritated as I was by that, I wish I hadn’t chomped down on her finger. It brought blood. Fortunately, she didn’t report me or develop rabies.
2) In our early days in Japan, Bernie had a great idea for raising ministry funds in our churches. We spent hours creating posters by hand to encourage giving the cost of a cup of coffee a day. I wish we hadn’t. Those posters and the campaign we envisioned were tossed out because we hadn’t practiced nemawashi, Japanese for “going around the roots.” (Japanese cultivate support on a one-to-one basis ahead of a meeting so that when you present the plan you know for sure that you have the necessary support. And if you don’t, you keep at nemawashi until you get it. Then—and only then—do you launch your new idea that, by this time, isn’t new at all; it just looks that way. Too bad we didn’t know this then.)
3) Around the same time, I met with the officers of a national women’s organization in the absence of their advisor to ask questions and probe their vision. It was completely innocent on my part. Honestly. But it must have seemed like I was attempting a coup. I wish I’d not asked for this meeting. It was a long time before my ignorance was forgiven and trust was rebuilt.
4) Not so long ago, we were running late to church. The warning bells were ringing and the train doors were closing just as we reached the bottom of the stairs onto the platform. I wish I hadn’t stabbed my umbrella into the closing doors. They opened again and we jumped on the train, but Bernie was so embarrassed—and my red umbrella now is permanently dented and difficult to open. We did get to church on time, but maybe it would have been better to have missed the train. Impulsiveness can be dangerous!
Things I’m Glad I Did . . .
1) Give my heart to Jesus. It’s been a wonderful, although challenging adventure ever since. (I could never have imagined living in Japan for thirty years!)
Things I Wish I Hadn’t Done . . .
1) I was standing in the school lunch line one day when I was in the seventh grade. A classmate stuck her index finger into my open mouth as I was saying something. As irritated as I was by that, I wish I hadn’t chomped down on her finger. It brought blood. Fortunately, she didn’t report me or develop rabies.
2) In our early days in Japan, Bernie had a great idea for raising ministry funds in our churches. We spent hours creating posters by hand to encourage giving the cost of a cup of coffee a day. I wish we hadn’t. Those posters and the campaign we envisioned were tossed out because we hadn’t practiced nemawashi, Japanese for “going around the roots.” (Japanese cultivate support on a one-to-one basis ahead of a meeting so that when you present the plan you know for sure that you have the necessary support. And if you don’t, you keep at nemawashi until you get it. Then—and only then—do you launch your new idea that, by this time, isn’t new at all; it just looks that way. Too bad we didn’t know this then.)
3) Around the same time, I met with the officers of a national women’s organization in the absence of their advisor to ask questions and probe their vision. It was completely innocent on my part. Honestly. But it must have seemed like I was attempting a coup. I wish I’d not asked for this meeting. It was a long time before my ignorance was forgiven and trust was rebuilt.
4) Not so long ago, we were running late to church. The warning bells were ringing and the train doors were closing just as we reached the bottom of the stairs onto the platform. I wish I hadn’t stabbed my umbrella into the closing doors. They opened again and we jumped on the train, but Bernie was so embarrassed—and my red umbrella now is permanently dented and difficult to open. We did get to church on time, but maybe it would have been better to have missed the train. Impulsiveness can be dangerous!
Things I’m Glad I Did . . .
1) Give my heart to Jesus. It’s been a wonderful, although challenging adventure ever since. (I could never have imagined living in Japan for thirty years!)
2) Marry Bernie 32 years ago. He’s my biggest fan, my most faithful encourager, and the one who reminds me to lighten up (and sometimes his jokes are even funny!).
3) Help Stephanie through labor that began at 3 A.M. on January 29 and ended with the birth of our grandson, Little Ben, at 1:22 A.M., January 30. Sometimes Stephanie’s pain brought tears to my eyes because there was so little I could do for her, but what a special bonding experience for mother and daughter. I’m grateful to have shared it.
4) Put my work away (mostly) to enjoy the first 3 ½ weeks of my grandson’s life—to cuddle, rock, bathe, dress, comfort, and even change him. Little Ben will never remember this precious time, but I will. He’s gone home now (and home is in another country), and I’m back to my work in a very quiet apartment. So I should be making great progress on some major writing deadlines. Instead, I’m finding my thoughts running to him as forcefully as a river cascading into a waterfall. I’m so glad I chose time with him while I had the opportunity.
4) Put my work away (mostly) to enjoy the first 3 ½ weeks of my grandson’s life—to cuddle, rock, bathe, dress, comfort, and even change him. Little Ben will never remember this precious time, but I will. He’s gone home now (and home is in another country), and I’m back to my work in a very quiet apartment. So I should be making great progress on some major writing deadlines. Instead, I’m finding my thoughts running to him as forcefully as a river cascading into a waterfall. I’m so glad I chose time with him while I had the opportunity.
