Wednesday, September 30, 2009

On Trusting the Lord

Enjoying a field of cosmos, Japan's salute to fall

Omniscience defined
“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts,’” (Isaiah 55:8-9, NIV).

What a roller coaster month it has been. Except for the Lord’s message to Cheryl on September 4 that she should, “Sit still, my daughter” (see the archives of this blog), this month would have been unbearable in many ways. On September 4 we were told that Cheryl’s respiratory doctor suspected her cancer had returned. Then, a couple of hours later, another doctor denied this possibility. We returned home feeling “off the hook,” but not much better emotionally. Actually, the physical symptoms that mirrored everything Cheryl was experiencing before her cancer was found in March were back in full force, so we wondered how this second doctor could be right. In fact, he misread the CT scan.

On September 15, Cheryl’s radiologist and urologist agreed with 90% certainty that the cancer had indeed metastasized into three tumors in the area where the kidney was before surgery in April. Their suspicions were confirmed on September 29 after multitudes of tests, leading us into a new phase of life: living with cancer. This translates into an oral anti-cancer medicine (Sutent) taken daily for 28 days followed by 2 weeks of rest, with the regime repeated forever. Yes, forever. Indeed, we are living with cancer.

From our relatively short experience with cancer, we’ve learned as never before the meaning of Isaiah’s words above. We cannot understand God who is omniscient. But we can trust him. And this is exactly what we have committed to doing—long before cancer became part of the picture. We will continue doing what we have always tried to do: “Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16). Please pray with us that the Lord may be glorified in every way as we learn the joys—and challenges—of living with cancer.

Two related praises
We stand in complete awe of God’s loving care and tenderness in preparing us for what was to come even before we had a clue that anything was wrong! (As we said already, please check the archives and read, "Sit Still, My Daughter," for the full story of a holy experience. Needless to say, we are full of praise to our Heavenly Father.

Our second related praise comes from the doctor’s office the day the recurrence was confirmed and Cheryl began the anti-cancer regime. Towards the end of the doctor’s visit, he commented randomly, “You’re taking all this news remarkably well.” Smiling, Cheryl replied, “It’s because we believe in God.” Two sentences—that’s all. But we’re still smiling because of having received this wonderful opportunity to be a witness for the Lord because of cancer. God is so good!

Some related prayers
In addition to praising God, we are also praying about several related concerns. Please join us in praying about the following:

►That Cheryl will be in the 90% group of people whose side effects are not an issue with Sutent, allowing them to lead normal lives (even including working full-time!);
►That Cheryl will be in the 30% group of people for whom Sutent is effective (meaning the cancer is kept stable or, better yet, the tumors begin to shrink and, with the help of the Great Physician, they even go away and the cancer is declared in remission);
►Assuming the above, we also pray that the next CT scan—after one or two rounds of Sutent—will show positive response within the three tumors that have been detected;
►Pray that her hemoglobin deficiency will be corrected soon to restore Cheryl’s energy level;
►That insurance questions will be answered soon and as easily as possible;
►That in the midst of getting used to this new lifestyle, we’ll be able to concentrate well, sleep well, and carry out our responsibilities well. Especially pray for Bernie who carries significant responsibilities at Tamagawa Seigakuin and Tamagawa Church; and,
►For our family, especially our children, Benjamin and Stephanie, as they suddenly feel the physical distance that separates us.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Fingerprint


How such a smooth, simple process could have become so disorganized and complicated was nearly unthinkable. But my serving partner seemed completely unaware that trays of communion juice and bread were stacking up against each other in the middle of the rows of benches as if they were vehicles being swallowed up in the traffic jams that so frequently characterize Japan’s highway system. No matter how I tried to catch his attention from the other end of the pew in order to help get our serving back in sync, he kept his eyes lowered reverently, seemingly oblivious to anything not immediately at his hands.

It got so confused that one row of congregants didn’t receive a plate of bread until everything was almost over. When I suddenly realized they’d been overlooked, I nearly sprinted from the back of the sanctuary to serve them before the prayers began. If the worshipful mood hadn’t already been broken, I certainly succeeded in shattering it in those frantic seconds.

Certainly the quietness of a holy moment was destroyed for me as I returned to my seat. Heart pounding and cheeks red with embarrassment, I took the bread in my left hand and the tiny cup in my right, nestling it between my thumb and first finger. It was then that I saw it: the print of my pointer finger. Amazingly, the juice was reflecting it as my finger rested on the outside of the cup. It was as clear as if a detective had dusted the vessel for fingerprints and determined easily and beyond any doubt that suspect Cheryl Barton had indeed held that glass cup on Sunday morning, September 20.

I’d just been identified in the police lineup and there was absolutely no use in denying my crimes. My fingerprint was more than the proof required.

Amazingly, rather than the remorse and the fear of punishment I should have felt at that moment, I was flooded with the most beautiful feelings of love I have ever experienced. I was enveloped in Jesus’ wholly indescribable arms as his nail-scarred hands rubbed my back gently and lovingly. It was a bear hug the likes of which no one could have escaped—but who would have wanted to flee such a comforting embrace anyway? After all, it is for such intimate moments with God that we were created; it is for these pinnacle experiences with joy that our hearts yearn as long as they beat.

And then I heard him as clearly as if he were sitting immediately beside me, whispering into the ear of my heart: “See your fingerprint?”

Of course I did. It stood out on the cup as if painted in the bold and decisive strokes of calligraphy, only in opaque ink rather than sumi, the basic ingredient of Japanese brush painting, derived from charcoal.

“This is my blood shed for you. It has your name on it just as your fingerprint does. This is how much I love you.”

I could hardly drag my attention away from the rim of the cup as exquisite scenes of nature appeared before my eyes: powerfully crashing waves on a rocky shore, a beautifully cascading waterfall amidst an evergreen forest, an awe-inspiring, serene, sinking orange ball of fire in a western sky. And from deep within, my soul rejoiced:

“When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say, ‘It is well, it is well with my soul. It is well, it is well, it is well, it is well with my soul.

“Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, let this blessed assurance control, that Christ hath regarded my helpless estate and hath shed his own blood for my soul. It is well, it is well, it is well, it is well with my soul.

“My sin—O the bliss of this glorious thought!—my sin, not in part but the whole, is nailed to his cross and I bear it no more. Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul. It is well, it is well, it is well, it is well with my soul.” (Horatio G. Spafford, 1873)

Hallelujah and Amen!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Sit Still, My Daughter

Back when I couldn't sit still in church

I have never heard God’s voice, but he spoke to me so clearly the other day that I can describe his voice. It is the voice of love and compassion. It is the voice of peace in the middle of a storm. It is the voice I will follow for the rest of my life.

It was the morning of September 4. The theme verse for that day’s Bible readings surprised me: “Be still, my daughter.” I couldn’t imagine where those words were found in the Bible, so I looked up the reference: Ruth 3:18. Surely I had read this before, but it had never spoken to me as it did after I compared this version (New King James) with the rendering in the New International, the Bible translation I usually read. It declared, “Wait, my daughter . . . .”

Immediately I was struck by the difference in feeling between the two versions. The word “waiting” prompted me to visualize the start of a horse race. Mounted horses wait in chutes for the buzzer to sound, the gates to bang open, the bolting forward as the race begins. Although waiting, there is no stillness in this scene. Muscles are taut with expectation and there is impatient movement, even though controlled by the small confines of the chute and the jockey atop the horse. Amidst some pawing of the ground or tension-filled snorting, horses and riders are completely alert as they focus not on waiting, but on the moment they will be set free to run with the wind. There is absolutely no resting in this kind of waiting.

“Sit still, my daughter” has an entirely different feel. I pictured sitting with my mother in church so many years ago as a child. If I jiggled my legs or swung them back and forth under the pew (when they didn’t yet touch the ground), she eventually would put her hand on my leg and say quietly, “Sit still, Cheryl.” What she meant was, “Stop jiggling and be quiet. This is time for church now. Later it will be time for other things. But for now, just be still; be in this moment.”

I also remembered her hand on my tiny, feverish forehead. “Lie still, Cheryl, and rest,” she would soothe. It didn’t matter what I should have been doing, wished I were doing, or wanted to be doing as soon as possible. The immediate call was for stillness in the moment. And through this, healing would come on its own schedule.

After meditating on the passage, I wrote in my journal that morning: “Stillness goes with quietness (both of body and spirit). It implies peacefulness, rest, and renewal—all these things I am seeking in this month of intentional rest, Lord God. And so I hear you this morning, ‘Sit still, my daughter.’ I will obey. I will remain quietly in this moment, not anticipating anything to come—just reveling in your loving presence. Thank you for speaking so directly to my heart this morning, Lord Jesus.”

I had no way of knowing that later that very day my respiratory doctor would say to me, “I suspect your renal cell carcinoma has returned.”

At first, sitting on a blue-gray Naugahyde chair, awaiting the results of a CT scan ordered to confirm or deny the doctor’s suspicions, I felt numb—not good, not bad, not anything. But slowly the impact of his words began invading the protective shell that held me, and suddenly my mind was the lead car in a NASCAR race. No longer was I in that hospital waiting area. I was now three-plus months ahead and wondering whether I’d see Christmas in December or the birth of my granddaughter in January.

As my thoughts teetered on panic, I heard the gentle, soothing voice of God, “Sit still, my daughter.” Suddenly the tension and fear disappeared as I focused not on the future, but on that very moment and on the fact that God was present with me in it. Circumstances had changed, even dramatically. But the One who said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you,” was also the One who “is the same yesterday and today and forever.” And in that moment, I heard his voice and I was comforted.

“Sit still, my daughter,” he reminded me. And with gratitude overflowing, I answered, “Yes, Father, I will obey.”

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Preparedness

Antiseptic hand wash and gargling solution: preparations to ward off the flu

I was glad we weren’t home. I’ve had my share of earthquakes, thank you, and I don’t like them. Not one little bit. But two moderately strong ones that shook Tokyo in August reminded everyone that there are no guarantees against earthquakes. To see this week’s earthquake destruction in Indonesia has only added to the ominous feeling that Tokyoites live with daily. After all, the “big one” has been predicted for years. Scientists say that when it comes (not if), it won’t be a pretty sight. I hope I’m not here, as we weren’t when the earth shook in August.

Naturally, when disaster-management exercises were conducted across the nation as a part of Disaster Preparedness Day (September 1), people took notice. The prediction is that 210,000 people in Tokyo and neighboring areas will be injured if a very strong quake hits—and this estimate says nothing of those who will die.

Although exercises were planned in 30 of Japan’s 47 prefectures, preparedness of another kind took precedence in many regions. Some were battling Typhoon #11, but others were taking precautions against H1N1, the flu strain “born” last spring. Since new flu cases in Japan had reached epidemic proportions by late summer, many government and medical officials feared a dramatic spike in infections as school reopened for second semester. As a result, numerous large public gatherings, including some Disaster Preparedness Day activities, were canceled.

Educational institutions are also wary, conscious that although many schools were closed in the spring to combat the new strain, the disease remained virulent. It was a major concession to the strength of the flu that in many locations opening ceremonies were so scaled down that in some students watched on individual classroom monitors rather than all gathering in an auditorium or gymnasium. If the threat continues, upcoming school festivals and Sports Days—staples of the fall school calendar—are sure to be affected.

On another front, preparations have been made for an expected shortage of flu vaccines in the event of a wildfire spread of the disease. The Health, Labor, and Welfare Ministry has drafted a priority list for who will receive the limited quantities that will be available. The ministry’s basic policy gives priority to 19 million people deemed most at risk. At the top of the list are 1 million medical professionals who must remain healthy in order to help the nation combat this threat. Another 10 million people with chronic diseases like asthma and diabetes are next, and on down the line the plan continues.

Even our church has gotten into making anti-flu contingencies. Anyone with a fever higher than 99.5 degrees is being requested to stay home, whether this means children in the nursery school or congregants on Sundays. Additionally, antiseptic hand wash dispensers will greet all who enter the premises from this week forward.

With all this activity at the forefront of conversations throughout the nation, I’ve thought a lot this week about the subject of preparedness. I can’t help but wonder what it will take for some people to prepare for eternity. The Bible maps out the necessary steps for preparedness, but so many take no notice at all. I’m not a doomsday preacher, but eternity is inevitable for everyone. The question that remains to be answered is this: Who will be prepared?

Thursday, September 3, 2009

While There Is Time

Bernie and Cheryl with students at Bible Camp

Three verses of utmost importance
“Teach [God’s words] to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 11:19, NIV). “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come..." (Ecclesiastes 12:1, NIV). “As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work” (John 9:4, NIV).

George Barna has been called the Christian George Gallup. Consider some of his research findings related to the importance of ministry to children and youth, including the fact that up to age thirteen, children are the most open to conversion. In his book, Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions (Regal, 2003), Barna argues that “ministry to children is the single most strategic ministry in God’s kingdom [and will have]…the greatest possible impact” (p. 14). He also contends that the most critical time in anyone’s life is between the ages of five and twelve because “it is during these crucial years that lifelong habits, values, beliefs and attitudes are formed” (p. 18). Unfortunately, most American congregations devote the bulk of their money and time to adult ministries. It’s no wonder statistics show that the church is losing children and teens at an amazing—no, frightening—rate.

Without the benefit of statisticians or social commentators, the Bible spoke to this dilemma long ago. Three verses of utmost importance should cause us to look at how we are investing ourselves. While there is time, we should be asking the Lord to show us how he could use us to reach the children and youth around us. Of all the investments we will ever make, those that touch the lives of children and youth will have the most returns. God help us to do our parts.

Tamagawa Seigakuin Bible camp
Needless to say, we consider Tamagawa Seigakuin’s summer Bible camp one of our most important activities each year. As you can tell by the photo, we had a great time July 20-22. We are thankful for relationships formed between the 70 girls who attended and the 17 faculty members who were there to encourage them to move closer to committing their lives to Christ “in the days of [their] youth.”

Thank you for your important prayers. Responses at the end of the three days included the following: 28 girls made decisions to believe and receive Jesus Christ (although we don’t know whether all were first-time decisions or not); 8 girls want to be baptized; and 16 students dedicated themselves to serving God.

Your continued prayers are also very important. Seven students indicated that they “don’t really understand” what faith is all about and/or where to go from here. Please remember these girls especially in your prayers. Several will be graduating next spring and leave the nurturing environment of Tamagawa Seigakuin, so the next few months may be especially critical in their faith walk. The camp evangelist will be returning to the school on November 12 for a follow-up meeting with all the students who attended. Between now and then, would you please commit yourself to praying daily that the Holy Spirit will move in an amazing way that day? Please also pray for our deepening relationships with students through the upcoming Fall Festival, September 19 and 21, and our trip to Korea with the entire junior class, October 26-30.

Other prayers
Of course, there are many other matters that need your prayers, including the following:

►We were happy to welcome Japan’s newest special assignment missionary, Tyler Hobbs, on August 19. Please pray for him as he adjusts to his new life that includes teaching English-Bible classes at Tarumi Church, Kobe, and Konoike Church, Osaka. At the same time, Tyler will be involved in a four-month internship through Anderson University School of Theology. Pray for Bernie in his supervisory role.
►We look forward a visit by Stephanie and Little Ben from September 5-12. Stephanie is now more than halfway through her pregnancy. Please pray for the continued healthy development of the baby who will be born in early January in Tokyo.
►Please pray for our deepening relationships with the people of Tamagawa Church, Tokyo, the congregation we began pastoring in April. Pray especially for Tomoko Fujiwara, the associate pastor, as we help her move towards ordination.