Monday, January 25, 2010

The Dream

Patting Hosanna to sleep in her drawer-crib

I didn’t know where I was or who was with me, but they were clear—the woman and her two children. It was equally clear to me that they had needs I was trying to meet.

“May I talk with you?” she asked, indicating with a slight nod of her head that we could go into the other room, away from the children. I followed her there, but so did her little ones, just as if they were her shadow. But unlike that permanent fixture on a sunny day, they agreed to leave us—just for a minute—so we could speak privately.

“I need a friend,” she whispered in a voice choked with tears. It was almost as if her admission had shamed her, yet she continued, “Will you be my friend?”

My heart, overwhelmed with compassion for this unknown woman, propelled me into her arms. Now tears were dampening my own cheeks. “I need a friend, too,” I confessed, suddenly overcome with loneliness, sadness, and my own neediness. “Will you be my friend?”

Then the dream was over—at least I don’t remember any more of it. In fact, I didn’t recall this scene until the next evening. In the midst of a made-for-television movie, I randomly shared it with my family although it had absolutely nothing to do with what we were watching. I have no idea what brought it to mind, but once again my eyes welled and overflowed in two single streams down my face.

What do dreams mean? I’m not an interpreter, nor do I think there is much use in dwelling on these partial scenes that fill the nighttime and occasionally spill over into the day. But I’d been held prisoner by the loneliness that permeated my dream and I couldn’t seem to shake it. It lingered not as the fragrance of a lovely scented candle long after it’s been extinguished, but rather like a persistent headache that, despite medication, is just under the surface and ready to explode into a debilitating migraine at any time.

In the quietness of the darkened room as I patted my granddaughter to sleep last night, the Lord came to me in my thoughts and reminded me not of a dream, but of reality. “My child, have I not promised never to leave you, never to forsake you?” he asked me in the kindest, most loving voice I’ve ever heard. “Why are you so lonely?”

One after another, God then recapped for me the significant ways he had shown me his presence in the past few days alone: through e-mails of concern from many people; through lunch at the home of a friend who greeted me, “You’re looking wonderful!” when I’d been suffering with the unsmiling, tired, way-too-old, way-too-soon face that stared back at me from the mirror; through unsolicited, completely unexpected checks that had arrived to help ease the financial burdens my cancer journey has brought us; through the visit of good friends who, in the midst of their busyness, wanted to say in person, “We’re thinking of you.”

And then, snatches of scripture came to mind. Although I could not recall them fully—I’ve never excelled in Bible verse memorization—enough pieces of the Lord’s message to me were there to be woven into a loosely knit shawl that wrapped itself around my shoulders and swaddled me lovingly in comfort. In that embrace, I prayed for my three-week-old granddaughter to sleep well and soon snuggled in my own bed.

This morning, I found the rest of the message that had consoled and reassured me last night. I’m embarrassed that the words were even highlighted in my Bible:

“Do you not know? Have you not heart? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:28-31).

And I? The loneliness I’d not realized had vanished, like a dream at the first hint of dawn. Once again, God had proven his faithfulness.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Celebrating New

Celebrating new life in our family! Celebrating new life in Christ!

Praising the Lord
“He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God” (Psalm 40:3). At the start of another year, we have so many reasons to praise God as we celebrate new: a new year of marriage (34 on January 10); a new year of life and ministry in Japan (we’re now in our 30th year); a new life in Christ; and a new member of our family. Please praise God and “celebrate new” with us as we share about these significant events.

A baptism at Tamagawa Church
December 20 was an exciting day at Tamagawa Church. Not only did we celebrate Jesus’ birth, but we also celebrated the birth of a new sister in Christ. It was a long road for Aiko Mizushima, whom Bernie baptized that day. The daughter of a strong Christian mother, Mizushima-san attended Sunday school at Tamagawa Church in elementary school. Then she entered Tamagawa Seigakuin for junior/senior high school, spending six more years learning from the Bible at the Christian mission school where Bernie is headmaster. As a third-year junior higher, Mizushima-san made a decision to give her heart to the Lord. However, uncertainty held her back from baptism. “Maybe,” she thought, “I’ll understand more later. Then I’ll be baptized.”

But later got even later. After Mizushima-san married and became a mother, she sent both of her children to nursery school at Tamagawa Church. During these six years, she participated in a Bible class for parents. But her thought was always, “When I know more ….” Eventually she stopped attending church, pulling away from all she’d been taught and believed as she struggled with depression.

Last fall, Mizushima-san finally came full circle and returned to Tamagawa Church. One decisive factor was the yet-strong faith of her 95-year-old mother. Living in a round-the-clock care facility, Nozaki-san is not in good health. But when her mind cooperates, she continues to love to sing hymns of faith, a faith that has had a definite influence on her family. Finally coming to accept the truth that it is enough just to believe John 3:16—that God so loved the world; that God so loved Mizushima-san herself—she made the decision to be baptized. Now well into her 60s, she is both amazed that her journey to complete faith in Christ took so long and grateful that God is patient and waited for her so long. Join us in celebrating new—new life in Christ.

Another new life
Join us in celebrating the birth of Hosanna Kordor Lyngdoh, Stephanie and Donald’s second child and our second grandchild (first granddaughter). Hosanna was born here in Tokyo on December 29 (one of the reasons this newsletter is so late!) and weighed in at 5 pounds, 11 ounces. We are truly rejoicing in this new miracle of life and in the privilege of sharing in her birth. By the way, Kordor means “precious” in Donald’s native tongue,
Khasi, one of the tribal languages of northeast India.

Update on Cheryl
At this writing, Cheryl is into a two-week rest period at the end of her third round of powerful anti-cancer medication. We praise God that the Sutent seems to be doing what we’d prayed and hoped for—suppress the cancer. However, we have some continuing prayer concerns. Please join us in praying about these:

●Our (former) insurance company has been very difficult to work with. Please pray that payment for the anti-cancer drug purchased last fall will be forthcoming quickly;
●As of January 1, we have a new insurance company and many new and unanswered questions. Pray we will find solutions to enable us to continue our ministry in Japan;
●We are working for Cheryl to become a patient at the M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. This, too, is proving to be complicated process. Please pray that we’ll be able to navigate all the red tape and requirements as expeditiously as possible; and,
●Pray that the Sutent will continue to be effective and useable for Cheryl. Although her energy level held quite well during the holidays, some of the side effects since that time have been more difficult, especially the mouth sores and the nosebleeds. Her doctor in Japan has not shown much interest in the side effects (which seems to be a common complaint of Japanese about their doctors). Pray that she’ll be able to find some remedies to help lessen the side effects.

We cannot tell you how much we appreciate your continuing prayers on our behalf—for Cheryl’s health and for our ministry in Japan. We couldn’t be here without you.