CT scans, MRIs, x-rays, blood tests, urinalyses, PET scan, bone scan, ultrasounds, even a test for H1N1 new strain influenza—which caused me to knock the nurse’s hand away from my face, flipping the offending long-stick swab she was wielding across the room. (Yes, the test had to be repeated, and no, I didn’t have the flu.) Surely I’ve had every possible medical test related to any organs from my neck to my lower abdomen—most of these in the last month. (By the way, it’s amazing that my hospital gives a 50% deduction on the cost of multiple exams of the same kind conducted within one month.)
It’s also amazing to think how well my urologist knows me—at least in terms of what he’s seen of my insides projected on the computer monitor in his examination room. But I’ve been thinking: as much as he knows, however, there is so much he doesn’t. For example, why can a persistent cough point to kidney cancer? (Actually, the urologist didn’t believe it at first; it was the respiratory doctor who suggested it. However, when the cough returned, the urologist also took note both of my case and of the fact that the Tokyo Cancer Research Institute is, among other things, investigating this very link.)
He also doesn’t know whether my cancer is genetic (my mother had kidney cancer twelve years ago) or only a fluke (after all, she’s had no recurrence since her kidney was removed). He also can’t answer whether the return of my voice to full strength is because I cut milk from my diet, or because the treatment is working, or because God is working—or because of all three. (I don’t need to know why to thank God as I again enjoy a normal voice after four months of sounding like the world’s worst case of laryngitis.)
And how about the medicine? It is still too early to say whether or not I’ll be in the 30% group for whom Sutent is effective. For that matter, even if it does shrink my tumors and scare the cancer into remission, what will be its long-term effectiveness? It’s just not that old and common of a treatment for such data to be available. And besides, data never considers Almighty God who does what he will do whenever he desires to accomplish it.
For all that my doctor does know, and no matter how skillful and educated he is, his understanding is still so very limited. I am comforted in affirming that God is the author of all true knowledge. Psalm 139:13-16 praises his omniscience and affirms that he alone truly knows me:
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
Once again, my spirit is stilled and my heart rejoices. Known and loved this well, what have I to fear?
