The Dream

Patting Hosanna to sleep in her drawer-crib

I didn’t know where I was or who was with me, but they were clear—the woman and her two children. It was equally clear to me that they had needs I was trying to meet.

“May I talk with you?” she asked, indicating with a slight nod of her head that we could go into the other room, away from the children. I followed her there, but so did her little ones, just as if they were her shadow. But unlike that permanent fixture on a sunny day, they agreed to leave us—just for a minute—so we could speak privately.

“I need a friend,” she whispered in a voice choked with tears. It was almost as if her admission had shamed her, yet she continued, “Will you be my friend?”

My heart, overwhelmed with compassion for this unknown woman, propelled me into her arms. Now tears were dampening my own cheeks. “I need a friend, too,” I confessed, suddenly overcome with loneliness, sadness, and my own neediness. “Will you be my friend?”

Then the dream was over—at least I don’t remember any more of it. In fact, I didn’t recall this scene until the next evening. In the midst of a made-for-television movie, I randomly shared it with my family although it had absolutely nothing to do with what we were watching. I have no idea what brought it to mind, but once again my eyes welled and overflowed in two single streams down my face.

What do dreams mean? I’m not an interpreter, nor do I think there is much use in dwelling on these partial scenes that fill the nighttime and occasionally spill over into the day. But I’d been held prisoner by the loneliness that permeated my dream and I couldn’t seem to shake it. It lingered not as the fragrance of a lovely scented candle long after it’s been extinguished, but rather like a persistent headache that, despite medication, is just under the surface and ready to explode into a debilitating migraine at any time.

In the quietness of the darkened room as I patted my granddaughter to sleep last night, the Lord came to me in my thoughts and reminded me not of a dream, but of reality. “My child, have I not promised never to leave you, never to forsake you?” he asked me in the kindest, most loving voice I’ve ever heard. “Why are you so lonely?”

One after another, God then recapped for me the significant ways he had shown me his presence in the past few days alone: through e-mails of concern from many people; through lunch at the home of a friend who greeted me, “You’re looking wonderful!” when I’d been suffering with the unsmiling, tired, way-too-old, way-too-soon face that stared back at me from the mirror; through unsolicited, completely unexpected checks that had arrived to help ease the financial burdens my cancer journey has brought us; through the visit of good friends who, in the midst of their busyness, wanted to say in person, “We’re thinking of you.”

And then, snatches of scripture came to mind. Although I could not recall them fully—I’ve never excelled in Bible verse memorization—enough pieces of the Lord’s message to me were there to be woven into a loosely knit shawl that wrapped itself around my shoulders and swaddled me lovingly in comfort. In that embrace, I prayed for my three-week-old granddaughter to sleep well and soon snuggled in my own bed.

This morning, I found the rest of the message that had consoled and reassured me last night. I’m embarrassed that the words were even highlighted in my Bible:

“Do you not know? Have you not heart? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:28-31).

And I? The loneliness I’d not realized had vanished, like a dream at the first hint of dawn. Once again, God had proven his faithfulness.

Celebrating New

Celebrating new life in our family! Celebrating new life in Christ!

Praising the Lord
“He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God” (Psalm 40:3). At the start of another year, we have so many reasons to praise God as we celebrate new: a new year of marriage (34 on January 10); a new year of life and ministry in Japan (we’re now in our 30th year); a new life in Christ; and a new member of our family. Please praise God and “celebrate new” with us as we share about these significant events.

A baptism at Tamagawa Church
December 20 was an exciting day at Tamagawa Church. Not only did we celebrate Jesus’ birth, but we also celebrated the birth of a new sister in Christ. It was a long road for Aiko Mizushima, whom Bernie baptized that day. The daughter of a strong Christian mother, Mizushima-san attended Sunday school at Tamagawa Church in elementary school. Then she entered Tamagawa Seigakuin for junior/senior high school, spending six more years learning from the Bible at the Christian mission school where Bernie is headmaster. As a third-year junior higher, Mizushima-san made a decision to give her heart to the Lord. However, uncertainty held her back from baptism. “Maybe,” she thought, “I’ll understand more later. Then I’ll be baptized.”

But later got even later. After Mizushima-san married and became a mother, she sent both of her children to nursery school at Tamagawa Church. During these six years, she participated in a Bible class for parents. But her thought was always, “When I know more ….” Eventually she stopped attending church, pulling away from all she’d been taught and believed as she struggled with depression.

Last fall, Mizushima-san finally came full circle and returned to Tamagawa Church. One decisive factor was the yet-strong faith of her 95-year-old mother. Living in a round-the-clock care facility, Nozaki-san is not in good health. But when her mind cooperates, she continues to love to sing hymns of faith, a faith that has had a definite influence on her family. Finally coming to accept the truth that it is enough just to believe John 3:16—that God so loved the world; that God so loved Mizushima-san herself—she made the decision to be baptized. Now well into her 60s, she is both amazed that her journey to complete faith in Christ took so long and grateful that God is patient and waited for her so long. Join us in celebrating new—new life in Christ.

Another new life
Join us in celebrating the birth of Hosanna Kordor Lyngdoh, Stephanie and Donald’s second child and our second grandchild (first granddaughter). Hosanna was born here in Tokyo on December 29 (one of the reasons this newsletter is so late!) and weighed in at 5 pounds, 11 ounces. We are truly rejoicing in this new miracle of life and in the privilege of sharing in her birth. By the way, Kordor means “precious” in Donald’s native tongue,
Khasi, one of the tribal languages of northeast India.

Update on Cheryl
At this writing, Cheryl is into a two-week rest period at the end of her third round of powerful anti-cancer medication. We praise God that the Sutent seems to be doing what we’d prayed and hoped for—suppress the cancer. However, we have some continuing prayer concerns. Please join us in praying about these:

●Our (former) insurance company has been very difficult to work with. Please pray that payment for the anti-cancer drug purchased last fall will be forthcoming quickly;
●As of January 1, we have a new insurance company and many new and unanswered questions. Pray we will find solutions to enable us to continue our ministry in Japan;
●We are working for Cheryl to become a patient at the M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. This, too, is proving to be complicated process. Please pray that we’ll be able to navigate all the red tape and requirements as expeditiously as possible; and,
●Pray that the Sutent will continue to be effective and useable for Cheryl. Although her energy level held quite well during the holidays, some of the side effects since that time have been more difficult, especially the mouth sores and the nosebleeds. Her doctor in Japan has not shown much interest in the side effects (which seems to be a common complaint of Japanese about their doctors). Pray that she’ll be able to find some remedies to help lessen the side effects.

We cannot tell you how much we appreciate your continuing prayers on our behalf—for Cheryl’s health and for our ministry in Japan. We couldn’t be here without you.

On a Train a Few Days before Christmas

One of our favorite pastimes in Japan (indeed, in much of Asia) is reading t-shirt messages, advertising slogans, menus, and whatever else we see written in English. Here are some samples that have amused us:

*Looking for a new menu for Christmas? How about trying one of these: harb chicken salad, casserole of cow’s intestines, or cram chowder?

*Considering a new destination during the holidays? “Fry me to the moon” in a “lent a car” might be an option.

*Still need to buy one last Christmas gift? What about rice crackers (osenbi, in Japanese) —if you can figure out this advertising description: “A rice cracker of the soy sauce taste that percentage let taste soak on purpose.” Get one for 250 yen (about $2.75) or a whole bag, a real bargain, for 500 yen ($5.50).

The other day I was making fun of yet another English gaffe—this one on a Christmas card we’d received: Be a Merry and Happy Christmas—when Bernie commented, “I rather like that mistake.” Hearing my eyebrows raise, he answered my unspoken question. “More than having a merry Christmas, wouldn’t it be great to be a merry Christmas for someone else?” he asked. The more I thought about it, the more I agreed. Yes, I thought, I would like to be a merry Christmas.

But I’d certainly failed the day before on an impossibly packed commuter train. I was first in line to board when the double doors of the just-arrived train opened. Normally at Jiyugaoka Station, after a stream of people explodes out of each car, there is space for those waiting on the platform to board. But it was different that day. After all the riders wanting to exit had, there was absolutely no open space. Where in the world had they just been riding? The inside of the car appeared no different, although a whole throng of people had just been propelled by me like human cannonballs.

Since capacity limits on Tokyo commuter trains seem to be decided by how many people can force their way onto a given train rather than by any safety considerations, those of us waiting on the platform accepted the challenge of finding the invisible space inside the packed cars. Helped by the surge behind me, I made it in. So did all those behind me, although I can’t tell you how this miracle occurred. All I know is that I ended up inside, smashed in on all sides, and standing on someone else’s feet. There was no free floor space to be found anywhere. As crushed as we all were, I doubt the unfortunate host (or hosts) to my feet even noticed, but I was certainly uncomfortable. (Okay, I wouldn’t have been comfortable even if my feet had found the floor.) All in all, as I glared at the woman whose bag was poking me painfully in the scar on my left side, I was in no mood to be a merry Christmas to her or to anyone else. All I wanted was to escape, and I honestly didn’t care who I might have to insult or injure along the way to freedom.

A merry Christmas? There was nothing merry about morning—for myself or anyone else. While I couldn’t have changed the train conditions, I could have put a smile on my face and adjusted my attitude. After all, the meaning of this season cannot be tarnished or changed, no matter what. Immanuel—God with us—even on a crowded commuter train.

A Christmas Prayer

Coco and a sleepy Little Ben

It’s not going to be long before it takes a forklift to carry my “to do” list: Christmas cards to address, special December dinners to prepare, gifts to buy and wrap, end-of-the-year reports to write, and more. And I’ve not even mentioned the normal activities that routinely crowd the schedule—things like sermon preparation, meetings, writing assignments and correspondence, and the day-to-day tasks that keep the house somewhat organized, clean clothes in the dressers, and food on the table.

As much as I try, I’m just not keeping up, although my schedule is considerably reduced this year. One big reason for the lag is a soon-to-be-two-year-old named Benjamin, our grandson. He and his mother arrived at our house on December 3. Need I say more?

Every time I sit down at the computer, my little shadow comes calling. “Coco, book,” he says, pulling on my hand and meaning, “Read to me, Coco” (his name for me). Or, “Coco, blocks.” Translated, “Let’s play with the blocks together.” Or, “Coco, kick soccer ball.” Or any number of other invitations—actually quite persistent summons to spend time with him. My heart melts and I’m completely defenseless, pressing work or not. After all, how long will this little boy actually want to spend time with his Coco? And how many chances will his Coco have to devote herself to him? I realize that if I miss these opportunities with Little Ben, I am never guaranteed of others to come in the future. It’s now or, perhaps, never. And so I put away my tasks and get down on the floor with Benjamin, loving every minute that we have to share together.

I’m reminded of a book of daily meditations I’m reading this Advent and Christmas season. Of the 13 or so I’ve read to date, “To Be a Virgin,” by Loretta Ross-Gotta, has been the most thought-provoking. Bernie and I will soon celebrate Christmas with our son, daughter, grandson, and other family members. We’ll also celebrate our thirty-fourth wedding on January 10. How can I be a virgin, as the author suggests we must all be—men and women included—if we will truly prepare our hearts for Christmas?

Ross-Gotta writes, “The intensity and strain that many of us bring to Christmas must suggest to some onlookers that, on the whole, Christians do not seem to have gotten the point of [Christmas]. Probably few of us have the faith or the nerve to tamper with hallowed Christmas traditions on a large scale, or with our other holiday celebrations. But a small experiment might prove interesting. What if, instead of doing something, we were to be something special? Be a womb. Be a dwelling for God. Be surprised.”

The Virgin Mary made herself available to God for his purposes (to be the mother of God’s Son) when she responded to the angel, “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said” (Luke 1:38). In her case, she literally was a womb for God. In my case, I can be that virgin in another way—by putting away my “to do” list and offering myself to God for what he wants to do in and through me not only in this season, but also during all 365 days of the year to come.

Just as my heart melts whenever my grandson, in his irresistible way, invites me to play, may it also respond passionately whenever God comes, as he did to Mary, and declares to me, “I need you.” May I never hesitate to obey from a heart of love for his gift of Jesus: babe in a manger, Savior on a cross, and the way to eternal life forever with the Father.

Brimming with Hope

Our staff taking a break from the annual fall meeting

Bernie blesses a little girl at the fall children's blessing service.

A word from the Lord
“. . . Houses, fields and vineyards will again be bought in this land” (Jeremiah 32: 15, NIV).

Thank you for your prayers for our annual fall missionary staff meeting on November 23. When we gathered at the Bartons’ apartment from three different areas of Japan, most of us were nursing colds, tiredness, and perhaps even discouragement. But as the photo shows, our spirits were truly restored through laughter, fellowship, heartfelt sharing, and prayer (not to mention eating at Sizzler’s). We were especially encouraged as Don Deena Johnson led us in considering a word from the Lord in Jeremiah—a brimming-with-hope reminder that if we respond to God in absolute obedience, even when his words don’t make sense, we can live in confidence that God will make all things new. It was exactly the reminder we needed.

Shichi-go-san
November is the month Japanese celebrate children, especially those who are 7 (shichi), 5 (go), and 3 (san) years old. Traditionally, parents dress their 7-, 5-, and 3-year-olds in new (and very expensive) clothes—for girls, often their first kimonos—and take them to a Shinto shrine to be blessed by a priest. The Japanese church has adapted this custom, which we at Tamagawa Church observed on November 15. What a joy it was to welcome 24 children, ranging in age from infants to upper elementary school, to our “kodomo no shukufukushiki” (children’s blessing service). Many of them were accompanied by their parents, who do not normally attend church, but who watched proudly as they took the offering, sang special songs, and recited Bible verses. One little boy even crawled under the pews, getting several rows away from his parents before they realized it. That wasn’t a scripted part of the program, but it was enjoyed anyhow.

As pastor of Tamagawa Church, Bernie had a message geared for the children and words of blessing for each one individually. Please pray that seeds planted in the children’s hearts during this special service will bear fruit one day. Pray also that we may cultivate good relationships with their parents that will bring them to Christ too.

Looking forward
We’re eagerly anticipating the arrival of family in December: Benjamin (from Guam); Stephanie, Donald, and Little Ben (from Central Asia); and Cheryl’s parents, Don and Betty Jo Johnson (from the USA). We’ll celebrate a family Christmas on December 28, following many Tamagawa Seigakuin and church-related activities throughout the month, including: a Christmas celebration for Tama Sei alumni on December 5; a baptismal service at Tamagawa Church on December 20; and a church Christmas Eve candle service. Pray that these celebrations will result in many life-changing decisions.

Following Christmas, we’re also looking forward to the birth of our second grandchild—our first granddaughter—here in Tokyo. Please pray for continuing good health for Stephanie and the baby and a safe delivery around January 10.

Answers to prayer
Thank you for your continued prayers for Cheryl. Praise the Lord that her trip to the States was successful. She returned to Japan on November 7 with her second round of medicine and with the doctor’s agreement to take her as a patient during our upcoming home assignment (late May-late August 2010). Currently she is midway through the second round of medicine and experiencing only relatively mild side effects (mouth sores). We’re grateful that blood tests seem to indicate that the cancer is responding to the medication as hoped. Pray that this will be confirmed by CT scan on December 8 so that Cheryl can continue taking this medicine—one of only two options for treatment in Japan. As of yet, we do not have a long-term solution to the high cost of the medicine, but God continues showing us his faithfulness, one step by one step. For this we rejoice, even as thank God for you and for the wonderful meaning of this season: Immanuel, God with us.